Love, Loss And Moving On.

Have your ever lost a dear one ? Oh ! Don't get me wrong, death doesn't make you lose a person. They stay safe in our hearts, alive in our memories.  Lost meaning, has someone just drifted away from your life. Someone who you thought was a your lover, a close friend, elders you looked up to, or siblings,  tied to you by blood. Have you lost them midway, navigating through life?

All through our lives we form bonds, Platonic and romantic; beginning with parents, siblings, friends, co workers, to lovers, extended family and so on. These bonds help us connect with the world and sail through tough times. This complex web of interpersonal relationships shapes our personality and wellbeing.

These are our goto people, support systems, 4 am friends  or whatever you would like to call them. We confide in them, tell them our deepest fears, dark secrets, sometimes our shameful deeds, our dreams, aspirations, likes, dislikes and so on. They become part of us, we rely on them for support and we reach out for them, to share our happiness and tears . 

At times, life throws a curve ball and snap. The bubble is burst, the connection is severed! Sometimes you lose it bit by bit, little by little until one day, nothing remains. At times, one big fight or misunderstanding and it's over. Just like that, gone forever. Like someone just pulled the carpet you were standing on, exposing and unnerving you. Our comfort zone snatched away from us, that favourite side on sofa, that comfortable chair, that soft spot we owned, that corner of heart that held fondest memories, battered and bruised.

Relationships that cause a lot of pain are the ones that have been closest to your heart. You miss how they made you feel, how their presence made a difference in your life, the person you were when they were around, the emotions they evoked in you . You miss all of that! What to do? How does it feel? You struggle to stay balanced, at the same time playing the memories incessantly in your mind. We battle forces that want to disorient us. We do not get answer that is satisfactory enough. There was a bond of intimacy and trust. Now there isn't. We are angry and we mourn. 

It's important however, to grieve. Grief as they say, is the price you pay for love. There are varying degrees of pain that each such break up brings, sometimes it  only a casual friend whom we've failed to keep in touch with and lost along the way. At times an intimate bond of years that got broken. It only means that even though there are other people, other relations, this one was unique and every such loss loss takes away a part of you, never to be recovered. We keeping going back there, missing how happy or loved they made us feel !

Eventually, you learn to deal. You learn to accept . You heal. You cannot unlove someone you have loved deeply at one point of time. Grief, like love never goes. You learn to absorb it, live with it.

Like a snake routinely sheds its skin by molting, life forces you to do the same, time and again as you journey through it. Shedding the old, transforming, evolving not fearing it.

Moreover, learning the truth along the way, that sometimes love is just letting go, of what could have been.... forever !!