Audit: Previous Year 2018

           
          As we come to the end of the 2018, time to look back and ponder at the year gone by, ‘Audit 2018’.
          Life has generally been good, some defining moments, some happy ones, few challenges faced and hopefully, lessons learnt.
            Travelling is something I did quite a bit this year. From Italy to Khajurao, couple of places ticked off bucket list. Thanks to Sammy dearest for pushing me to take these trips. I hope to continue doing this the coming year. One thing I have realised is that history and art fascinate me much more than natural beauty. Of course, nature is awe inspiring, but stories of how people put their sweat and blood into creations truly move me.
               An issue I feel about strongly is the Metoo movement. Much water has flown under the bridge.But each time I hear people ridicule the victims by making statements like , why is she speaking about it now or she is publicity hungry, or he is such a good man, it’s impossible. I cringe. I agree there are black sheep everywhere, but please do not ridicule an issue that half of the population faces day in and out. Would love to know at least one female who has never faced sexual misconduct. The saddest part is, the accused are sympathised with and and the victims are the villains.It’s scary.
               Kids are growing at an amazing pace. Becoming smarter and more independent.I miss their baby phase now. At one point of time I used to wonder if this feeding-cleaning-putting to sleep phase would ever end. Well, it does. Avani  tells me how to use social media effectively with an expression that says, “Mom, you did not know this !!”.She has already outgrown my foot size! For that I am secretly happy. Aarav continues to believe Sam and I sit n chill at home after sending them to school ! All we have is a quiet cup of coffee!  It fills me with amazement and exasperation equally, his unending questions on solar system, black holes, the Indian Army and airplanes. Mostly, I google for answers.*palmface*
         Tiffs with hubby have become fewer. I feel thankful and blessed for what has been a rock solid partnership of 20+ years ! He tells me, I have calmed down significantly.LOL. My nagging, as he says has shifted from, you have no time for me to please start gymming again.
        Parents are growing old too. Something I do not like. A phone call at odd hours now freaks me out, but it’s oddly satisfying when dad calls a half sleepy me at 10.45 pm to say that he just read online (yes, he has the accu weather app and keeps checking continuously) that temperature is going to drop further and tomorrow would be really chilly!  I assure him I would wear a sweater tomorrow.
        Friends, my crazy ones who help me retain my sanity. Some have been with me since school and some have come along recently. Some, I depended on to be there till the very end but they left away  without even a whimper. Some I meet frequently, others once in 6 months or a year. Some are quite like me and some radically opposite. All of them have been instrumental in shaping and changing my thoughts. Knowingly or unknowingly. I am grateful to each one of them. There have been some massive lows and health scares for some, but each one dealt with it bravely. I hope I have stood up and been there for them when they needed me most.
         The biggest takeway from 2018 is learning, not everyone you think is meant to stay, will stay. Seasons change,priorities change, people change and relationships die. It’s tough. But, life moves on.
         Moving ahead with immense sadness, tears, gut wrenching pain, courage, lot of faith and a tiny flicker of hope. Taking one small step at a time is what life is about. I have learnt, life is fickle and things can change in an instant. Appreciate what you have and be thankful for today, for the people who truly love you, for the healthy body you have, for the mind that is still sharp, and the soul that has managed not to lose its sensitivity, inspite of everything.
         To sum up, I am still not everything I want to be, but I am more than I was, and I am still learning.
                 Here’s to a happy and healthy 2019.Happy New Year!